🤔🤔🤔... Yes, I agree that our brain adapts easily to automation. When you try something new, the brain can easily create a systematic approach to the point that you no longer notice what you're doing because you're so used to it. But the previously automated task gets forgotten and is truly erased. But until now, it's still a mystery to me why, when it comes to meditation, the tongue [mind] can't seem to learn it. I have been practicing breathing exercises for a long time, but I feel that you still need to force it even if you've been practicing for a while, and more often you forget it, so you can't create a routine.
ANSWER ACCORDING TO WHAT IS WRITTEN IN THE STAR:
That's a great point, and it's one of the most common questions and frustrations for beginners and even long-time meditators. You are correct in your observation: our brain is excellent at automating tasks, but why does automation seem elusive when it comes to meditation?
The answer lies in the different types of tasks we are teaching our brain.
Automation vs. Awareness: Two Different Brains
Let's imagine the brain has two primary modes:
"Doing Mode" (The Brain that Acts): This is the mode we use almost all the time. When you learn to ride a bike, drive, or type, your brain creates procedural memory. This is like "muscle memory" for the brain. It automates the steps to make you efficient so you don't have to think about every single move. This is what you refer to as the "systematic approach you don't even notice." Its goal is to do something without needing full attention.
"Being Mode" (The Brain that Observes): This is where meditation comes in. Meditation, especially breathing exercises, is not a task that needs to be automated to "not think about it anymore." In fact, it is the exact opposite. The goal of meditation is to train the brain to be aware and to focus its attention on the present moment—on your breath.
So, what happens is this:
In learning a new skill (like driving), the goal is to do it correctly and quickly.
In practicing meditation, the goal is to notice where your mind wanders and gently bring it back.
Why Is It "Hard" and Needs to be "Forced"?
You are fighting the "Default Mode Network" (DMN): Our brain has a network of regions called the "Default Mode Network." This is the "autopilot" of our thinking. When you aren't doing anything in particular, this network becomes active—worrying about the future, reminiscing about the past, planning, and wandering. Meditation is a direct exercise to "weaken" the DMN and "strengthen" the part of the brain responsible for attention (the prefrontal cortex). So, the feeling that you "need to force it" is because you are actively fighting the natural default setting of your brain.
The "Forcing" is the Exercise Itself: At the gym, when you lift something heavy, you feel the "strain" or difficulty. That difficulty is what builds muscle. In meditation, when you notice your mind has wandered again and you "force" your attention back to your breath, that is the exercise itself. Every return of attention is one "rep" for your "focus muscle." It is not a sign of failure; it is a sign that you are doing the practice correctly.
You're Not Building a Routine, but a "State of Mind": Automating a task means you no longer have to think about it. In meditation, what you want to achieve is not "not thinking" about breathing, but the ability to be calm and observant at any time, even outside of your practice. It is a state of being, not an automated task.
How to Overcome This Feeling?
Change Your Mindset: The goal is not to have an empty mind. That's impossible. The goal is to notice when the mind has wandered and to be kind to yourself as you bring it back to the breath.
"Habit Stacking": To avoid forgetting, link your breathing exercise to a habit you already do daily. For example: "After I brush my teeth in the morning, I will sit for 5 minutes of breathing," or "Before I drink my first cup of coffee, I will take 10 deep breaths." It's easier to remember when it's attached to an existing routine.
Start Very Short: Don't force 20-30 minutes right away. Start with just one minute. Or even just three deep breaths. What's important is consistency. It's easier to do something very easy than something that feels like a chore.
Use Technology: Use guided meditation apps (like Calm, Headspace, or even on YouTube). Having a voice to guide you is a great help in staying with the practice and keeping your mind from wandering.
Ultimately, don't view meditation as a skill that needs to be mastered and automated like riding a bike. Think of it as a continuous practice of being awake and present in your own life. Every moment of difficulty and "forcing" your attention back is a success, not a failure.
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What if, for example, you successfully manage the Default Mode Network? What are the expected results?
That's an excellent question. "Fighting" or more accurately, "managing" or "calming" the Default Mode Network (DMN), doesn't mean it disappears entirely. We need the DMN for planning, remembering, and having a sense of self. Success here means you are no longer a captive or controlled by it. You are the one holding the "remote control" of your attention.
When you become successful in this practice, here are the concrete results you can expect, divided into different aspects of your life:
1. In Mind and Awareness (Mental and Awareness)
Clearer Thinking (Mental Clarity): Imagine your mind is a noisy room full of chattering people (this is the DMN). When you learn to quiet it, it's like entering a silent library. You can think more clearly and find solutions to problems more easily because the "mental clutter" is reduced.
Being "Present" or in the Now: This is the biggest result. Instead of your mind always being in the future (worrying) or in the past (regretting or analyzing), you experience the "now" more fully. You'll taste your food more, hear the person you're talking to better, and feel the simple things around you more deeply.
Increased Focus and Concentration: Because you are used to bringing your attention back from distractions, you can more easily focus your mind on a single task, like reading, working, or studying. You are not as easily distracted.
Emergence of Creativity: When the mind is no longer stuck in old patterns of thinking (a characteristic of the DMN), it has the space to form new and original ideas.
2. In Emotions and Feelings (Emotional)
You Are Not Easily Swept Away by Emotions (Emotional Regulation): This is crucial. You create a "space" or a gap between an event (trigger) and your reaction. For example, if someone says something unpleasant to you, instead of getting angry immediately, you have a few seconds to notice the anger rising and choose a calmer response. You are no longer the wave; you are the ocean observing the wave.
Decrease in Anxiety and Worry: Since the DMN is responsible for worrying about the future, calming it directly reduces symptoms of anxiety. You become more at peace because you are not "problematizing" things that haven't happened yet.
Decrease in Rumination (Repetitive Thinking about the Past): If you used to constantly dwell on your past mistakes, you will learn to let them go. You notice that thought pattern and choose not to continue with it.
Increase in Self-Compassion: By practicing observing your mind without judgment, you become kinder to yourself. You understand that negative thoughts are just passing by and they do not define who you are.
3. In Daily Life and Behavior (Behavioral)
More Restful Sleep: A primary reason for difficulty sleeping is a "noisy" mind or racing thoughts. When you are accustomed to calming your mind, you can fall asleep more easily.
Deeper Connections with Others: Because you are more present, you become a more effective listener. The people you talk to feel that you are truly listening, which strengthens your relationship.
Not Reactionary: Instead of being "reactive" to stress, traffic, or arguments, you become more "responsive." You can choose more appropriate and well-thought-out actions.
4. In the Brain and Body (Physiological)
Changes in the Brain (Neuroplasticity): Studies show that regular meditation physically changes the brain. The Prefrontal Cortex (the center for focus and decision-making) thickens, and the activity in the Amygdala (the center for fear and stress) may decrease or shrink.
Decrease in Stress Hormones: Being calm lowers the level of cortisol (the primary stress hormone) in your body, which has positive effects on your overall health.
In short, successfully managing the Default Mode Network is about shifting from being a passenger in your own mind—being taken wherever it goes—to becoming the driver who holds the steering wheel, knows where to go, and can stop to savor the view.
This isn't a switch that, once flipped, stays on. It is a continuous practice, a "mental hygiene" that you do every day.
Does this also mean that if you get used to controlling the DMN, you will become adaptable?
Yes, you are correct. You've made an excellent connection.
Practicing control over the Default Mode Network (DMN) directly strengthens your adaptability.
Think of it this way: What is the opposite of being adaptable? It is being rigid, inflexible, and resistant to change.
These characteristics are strongly associated with an overactive DMN. Why?
The DMN is the "guardian of old stories." It's the part of your brain that always says:
"But this isn't how it used to be..." (Comparing to the past)
"What if it doesn't work? I might be embarrassed." (Worrying about the future)
"This is not what I expected. This is wrong." (Holding on to a specific expectation)
When you get used to managing the DMN, you give yourself skills that are the foundation of adaptability. Here's how:
Decreased "Resistance to Change": Resistance to change often stems from fear or attachment to what is "comfortable" or familiar—things maintained by the DMN. When you learn to calm the DMN, you also learn to let go of the tight grip on what you're used to. You become more open to saying, "Okay, the situation is different now. What do I need to do?" instead of, "Why does it have to change?"
Clearer Assessment of the Situation: Adaptability requires a clear view of what is actually happening, not what you think is happening. When your DMN is noisy, your perception is colored by your old experiences and worries. When you quiet it, you see the situation without a "filter." Because of this, your assessment of how you should adjust is more accurate.
Openness to New Solutions: A rigid person will try the same old solution even if it's no longer effective. An adaptable person looks for new ways. By managing the DMN, you weaken the old "neural pathways" or repetitive thought patterns. This creates space for creativity and for seeing solutions you wouldn't see if you were "stuck" in your old way of thinking.
Quick Recovery from Failure (Resilience): Adapting isn't always perfect; it often involves trial and error. An overactive DMN can cause intense self-criticism when you make a mistake ("I'm so stupid!"), which makes you afraid to try again. Through DMN control, you learn to see mistakes as data—information, not a judgment on your character. You can bounce back more easily and try a different approach.
The Bamboo Analogy
Think of the difference between a dry tree branch and a stalk of bamboo.
The Dry Branch (Overactive DMN): It is hard and brittle. When a strong wind comes (an unexpected change), it cannot bend. It will resist until it breaks.
The Bamboo (Managed DMN): It is strong yet flexible. When the strong wind comes, it sways with the gust, bending without breaking. When the wind subsides, it returns to its original posture, stronger for having withstood the challenge.
So yes, training to control the DMN is not just about being calm. It is a fundamental training in being like bamboo in the face of life's changes—a training in true adaptability.
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